Hey, can I borrow that saddle pad?
Question: There’s a person in our barn who is constantly borrowing things from everyone else—polo wraps, boots, bits, spurs, stirrups, she even used someone else’s saddle for the entire show season. We all know it’s expensive to ride, and you can’t always afford to buy everything your horse needs. And I don’t mind lending things out once in a while. But this chronic lending seems to be a solution rather than a stop-gap measure. In my opinion, if you can’t afford to be in the sport, get out. Harsh, I know. Should I share my views or sit back and continue to watch this person benefit from everyone’s generosity?
Answer: Ouch! I see we’ve touched on a sensitive subject. Understandable. Most of us work darn hard to pay to (or, ahem, to pay for someone else to) participate in this sport. And it doesn’t come cheap. Board, supplements, lessons, equipment and vet bills are just a few of the regular required outlays. Horse shows add a whole new level of stomach-churning expense to the equation.
Your barn-mate may be suffering from “reality-deficit.” Her equestrian trousseau is obviously not complete. She’s been fortunate up to now to benefit from the generosity of others, but it sounds like it may be time for her to invest in some additional essentials.
What’s the reason for the disconnect? There could be many. She may not know what she needs or the best way to go about getting it. Or, as you suspect, she could be taking advantage of others. But I’m guessing that her intentions are not that intentional or nefarious.
Don’t share your own items if you don’t want to. If asked, say: “Sorry, I don’t lend out my equipment. Thanks for understanding.” That should leave no doubt about your opinion on lending.
If this boarder is a tween or teen with non-horsey parents, it’s likely that her mom and dad have no idea the extensive borrowing is taking place. Perhaps her trainer or someone else in the barn could sit down with the kid and parents and help them write a list of items they need, ranking them by priority. Share the barn’s favorite second-hand tack shops and favorite online bargain sites too. This approach can work with adults too.
There are a lot of junior riders headed to finals this weekend that are there not only because of the blessing of borrowed tack, but also borrowed horses driven in a borrowed trailer.
Yes, our sport is expensive, but it’s also a sport that brings out the spirit of generosity in many of us.
This article first appeared on The Chronicle of the Horse website.
{ 4 comments }
Haha, I hope this question didn’t come from your sister because I’m borrowing one of her bridles right now! I promise I’m taking really good care of it and I’ll give it back!!
Umm, no, I think it’s about the Howells, who have borrowed everything from everyone from the last nine months!!! hee hee!
uhm…this is interesting and you are right it is a very expensive sport. The average American income does not support 20-50K a year for a hobby for a child, so I can understand the need for a child to borrow gear. I like your suggestion to meet with the child’s parents for solutions. But to suggest the child “get out of the sport” they are so passionate about simply because they can’t afford it makes my spine cringe! This is the attitude that makes the sport elitist and old! Shoveling stalls, feeding or exercising horses, braiding for shows, can help the kids who love it and can’t afford it. “Barn Rats” earn my respect because they love the sport so much they work for it. There is a superior attitude which prevails in this sport, unfortunately, which gives the impression the boarders are better than the barn rats…very unfortunate; since many of the barn rats are among the best athletes. My message to the parents and trainers is to help the kids who are passionate and educate and assist their parents by offering support. To your children, don’t act superior simply because your family can support you financially. The kid shoveling your horse’s stall loves the sport as much, if not more, than you.
Been There,
I fully understand and sympathize somewhat with your position. However, the author has a point. I don’t believe she has a black soul and wants to crush the dreams of barn rats whose families can’t afford $100k horses– but the perpetual borrower might need a reality check of sorts. It is one thing to loan out an item here and there, assuming it is well taken care of and returned following its use; it is another thing to deck your horse out entirely in borrowed goods. Perhaps the people doing the lending aren’t necessarily blue-bloods, but people who work hard to be able to afford the stuff they have.
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